


Black and White

by barefootxo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 15:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5169257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barefootxo/pseuds/barefootxo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crossover with HP! Whatever happened to Sirius Black? What if he fell into Middle-Earth? What insanity might ensue? And how will Saruman and Sauron be affected? A million laughs. Minor sexual inferences. Not slash!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black and White

I don't own Harry Potter, the Lord of the Rings, or any of their respective characters...  
  
~~  
  
**Black and White**  
  
**  
  
Saruman the White stood calmly before the palantír of Orthanc, contacting his Master. _Sauron… I have summoned Gandalf the Grey to Orthanc. I will trap him in the tower until you are prepared to fetch him._  
  
_Excellent, my servant. I shall dispatch a Nazgûl immediately, to fetch him._  
  
A knock sounded at the door. _One moment please, my Master. I believe Gandalf the Grey has arrived._  
  
_Excellent… Report to me after he has been imprisoned._  
  
_As you wish._ “Come in Gandalf…”  
  
A wizard came in, but he was not some grey-bearded dotard leaning upon a staff. This one was young and black-bearded, with a haughty grin upon his face. “You are not, Gandalf.”  
  
The youthful wizard grinned in amusement. “Quite correct. I am Padfoot. Gandalf and I are old friends. He asked me to come in his place. He has much to do in the Shire with Sauron on the move.”  
  
Saruman glared. “I would speak with Gandalf and not some menial lackey. You are not Istari and cannot possibly understand what I have to say to you.”  
  
The cold laugh of the man called Padfoot broke off Saruman’s tirade. “When you’ve kept your sanity for ten years in a prison filled with Dementors, then perhaps we can talk about understanding.”  
  
Saruman glanced balefully at Padfoot’s tattered brown over-robe and then his gaze caught Padfoot’s wand. “Is that your staff? Really, do you hope to prove yourself a great mage with such a pathetic instrument?”  
  
Padfoot’s smile was like a chill wind. “And what about yours, Saruman? Do you really need such an over-exaggerated wand? Honestly, we’re not compensating for something are we? Besides, every wizard worth his salt knows that it’s not the size that counts. It’s how you use it.”  
  
Saruman’s face became a mask of fury. “You fool, I am Saruman the White!!! White, which is the most powerful colour in magic, with the single exception of black. Begone, Padfoot the Brown!!!” He sent a powerful telekinetic burst out then, flinging Padfoot into a wall. Then he made his big mistake… He let Padfoot get up.  
  
Padfoot grinned. “I think I should introduce myself properly, Saruman the White,” he said, flinging back his tattered over-robe to reveal robes the colour of obsidian, “Sirius Black… at your service.”  
  
Before Saruman could bring his staff up, Sirius had leveled his wand at Saruman. “Avada Kedavra!!!” he cried.  
  
The green bolt of light tore through the room, killing the foolish Saruman instantly.  
  
Sirius shrugged to himself. “An unforgivable curse for an unforgivable incompetent. Honestly, who lets their opponent up when they are down?” Then he spied the palantír and decided to give it a try.  
  
Sauron noticed. _Saruman._  
  
_Sorry boss, ‘fraid not._  
  
_Gandalf!!! You won’t get away with this…_  
  
_I’m not Gandalf either._  
  
_Théoden?_  
  
_Nope… Those were your three guesses, and you don’t get any more._  
  
_Tell me who you are!!!_  
  
_Ha… Umm… No. I don’t think so._  
  
_What are you doing in Orthanc?_  
  
Sirius grinned. _I solemnly swear I am up to no good…_  
  
As Sauron raged, Sirius broke off the contact and began to take a look around. “Hmmm… Maybe falling through that drapery wasn’t so bad after all… This Orthanc place would make me a nice bachelor pad, and there’s some really hot ladies out in Rohan. Perhaps I’ll stick around. Harry can get by just fine without me.”

 

~~

 

Oh what I did...

 

Jasper


End file.
